Exit Survey

I just got a letter from NYC's public school system asking me to fill out an exit survey, following my resignation. This is what I told them at the end, you know, when they ask you if there's anything else you'd like to say:

"My overwhelming reason for leaving is the amount of paperwork and assessment required of teachers, particularly special educators. There is very little time to teach and there is always some deadline for some kind of work that takes a lot of time away from teaching. It is rarely clear how this makes us better teachers or affects student achievement. On top of the pressure to start teaching to the state tests, which starts from the beginning of the school year if your school had a bad report card grade the previous year (or even if it didn't), it all makes for unhappy teachers who are at risk of burnout within a couple of years of starting their careers. And I experienced this even though I was always supported at my schools, had adequate resources and parent involvement and was very prepared for, and capable of handling, the challenges of being a NYC public school teacher. I know I was very good at my job. But I rarely had the chance to do it."

Even with all of the challenges I'm having here, I'm very confident in my decision, and I'd make it again if I had to.

2013: Important To Be Nice

Maybe I'm getting old. Ok, I KNOW I'm getting old. But you know what would be nice in 2013, IMO?

Niceness.

Like, let's give the snideness a rest. Ease up on the "clever sarcasm" and "biting wit." ESPECIALLY if you're 30+.

I know, it was fun as hell when we learned how to use it in our 20s by watching and reading our favorite movies and shows and books in our teens. But lets give it a break now.

Plus, we now have a generation of unfunny youth coming up who think mean humor (that becomes more of an oxymoron as you age, at least it has for me) is witty. Or maybe they think its the only humor.

If you're not getting paid to be snarky, you just sound unnecessarily mean, smugly self-satisfied and annoying much of the time. You're not smart.
You aren't George Carlin.
You're David Spade. Minus his money and fame.
And we all know that David Spade wouldn't even wanna be David Spade for free.

Yes, I do realize that that was a snide remark.
Being snide about snideness IS corny. Try not to do it.
Sometimes you can't help it, that's true. But for the most part, just let your earnestness and sincerity shine.
Leave "Daria" at home.

The takeaway: Be nice and say nice things about things in 2013.

Brotha In Sri Lanka Day 5 (New Year's Eve)

We bought tickets to one of the hotel's NYE events, and this dinner is God-awful. About 16 people in here, you gotta pay for the Coke SEPARATELY from the rum, and there's an Indian house band singing the songs that the kids in "Dirty Dancing" were rebelling against. Shout out to sticking it through bc you paid in advance.

I take the best photos of me.

The waiter took a picture of us and I look like Charles fucking Dutton in it.

This dude up there singin Conway Twitty or something man. I've rocked livelier crowds at the 92nd St. Y. Like really though. 90 Jewish kids and their parents getting buck 'cause I mentioned the Golemn in my lyrics and shit.

The lead singer up here lookin' like a brown Dusty Rhodes in his heyday. And they up there counting down like they want this to be a wrap already. "45 minutes to go til 2013!" "25 minutes to go...in this set!" "5 minutes to go, thank Buddha!"

I-ight, it's about to be real quiet for this "party," b. Dude up here sounding like Tom Jones' understudy at a Mumbai casino.

We were like, "Oh it's about to jump" and then it ain't jump.

Wow, more old people just rolled in. This dude up there singing Buster Poindexter. Wait staff looking at me like, "THIS guy done fucked up, hahahaha."

They put the smoke and colored lights on the dance floor and its like 5 old people and 4 young people out there.

Oh my God. A family just rolled in. As in a dad in Friday jeans and a dad-type party hat, a mom, a KID (yes, a KID) and a grandma.

Ok, it's almost 12; I'ma record the countdown, here we go:

This nigga up there singing church songs now. No, for real. "Glory Hallelujah," "When The Saints..." and all that. I decided to go crazy dancing like I had the Holy Ghost.

Holy ish! We won the raffle! That's what happens when you stay past when everyone else has left! And when you get 4 drinks and a bottle of wine when everyone else is barely drinking. Cheese, chocolate, gingerbread in a basket. Niiiice.

Nice. They just offered two glasses of champagne on the house. For me being an awesome dancer. Probably.

The band is basically just playing for me, because out of the 8 folks here, only I am clapping when they finish a song. That's that performer sympathy. I know how it is. I would've been swinging my cock on stage by now. Because, what else would there be to do at that point?

Nice, came back from bathroom and wife said the band shouted me out! No doubt for being the guy having way too much fun at an event he shouldn't be having any at.

"You doing the drunk clap. You not even clapping because its good." - her

They have now allowed us to go to the other (better) party, for free. It's livelier. It's a masquerade party they wanted 160 usd for. We got in for 0 usd! After midnight of course haha. She stole a mask.

Shooooot, they done gave away raffle airline tickets to Oman, London, Singapore, Milan and anywhere in the world.

I can't lie, we made our own fun.

Every time they call a raffle number, this douche-y guy acts like he won, like that's original or funny. He's done it like 8 times already and it stopped being funny after the zeroth time.

These Indians and Sri Lankans are getting it IN. Did I mention how SCANDALOUS the women dress? Yeeeaaahhhh. They do that.


 Ok, party done. Getting up for plane in 4 hours. Doesn't that always suck? Anywaaaay...

Day 6 was being ready for the plane and being grouchy while doing it - no blog necessary. Peace! It was grand!

Brotha In Sri Lanka Day 4

Day 4 was uneventful. We were pretty much just about this life here; pool at my feet, lake behind my head:

We woke up late and caught the last few minutes of breakfast. I got SUPER annoyed by the lack of order at the omelet line. I wanted a joint with green chillies, tomatoes and cheese and they were putting me through changes just to live.

Yeah, I know, middle class-ass problems.

Tried not to make up, in two days, for all of the training I haven't been doing this holiday season. But you know I still went hard in the gym.

Watched "Fast 5" and yes, Vin Diesel is still my favorite actor. And Dwayne Johnson is the absolute coolest guy alive. He's had the title a coupla years now and will probably have it a couple more (but I'm closing in fast, no pun intended)! Also watched the latest "Mission Impossible" for the first time. That was pretty damn cool. Did I tell you I watched all of the "Twilight" films right before we left Doha? I actually enjoyed them immensely! I know, right?! Who knew?

Storms roll through every evening and I love it. It's sunny throughout the day, then it comes down. And I like to wait it out right up until it starts to pour. The smell, the light rain and the clouds amongst all of the organisms is worth all of the effort you put into life to get the things you aren't always sure you will. Just that.

I'ma tell you something. I'ma get a li'l personal for a second. I've had an amazing life thus far. I always knew 33 would be a turning point also. It's like a reflection stop for me. I've been very fortunate and lucky. It's crazy that I'm ringing in the new year, scarcely a month since turning 33, in Sri Lanka. Before leaving NY, I kept stating that I had to leave, to find something different. I had nice things and I could've stopped betting. I took calculated risks, mixed it with a little faith and supreme self-confidence to get to a certain point. What some saw as a pinnacle, a crowning achievement, I saw as a baseline, a requirement to put a bigger plan in action for myself and the universe. I started to feel like I needed to go East because, despite loving to "get fresh" and go out drinking and partying and living it up in NY and on vacations and the continued acquisition of things I didn't have and wanted, growing up, I felt like I wasn't living right and I needed to separate myself. So I accepted the position in Doha. It's been amazing, but you can't predict what you're supposed to live. I've been a bit disappointed by Doha's inability to provide the type of spiritual nourishment I felt like I needed. I should have known better though. Just being in a place doesn't do such a thing. I was expecting to find a path with an ease I never do in any other aspect of my life. I lost my way. So I stopped looking. I stayed in the moment, tried to disconnect a little from time and place. A few weeks later I found myself talking to an elephant on my way to a Buddhist temple.

You know my stories, because I'm very public with them. (Though trust me, SOME of the most important ones are in a vault that few have the key to.) I was from nothing, materially, and a movie that would rival "The Color Purple" could be made about my family upbringing. We won't revisit that today because I survived it, it doesn't need to be revived too often. The improbable became my daily life. I've honeymooned in the City of Lights, been paid to perform music and rock stages in front of my closest family and friends. I had an incredible wedding and saw my boys go from growing up in the gutter with me, to having beautiful families and homes far away from there. I've balled out at the casinos (I had no car and decent rent back then, haha), popped bottles in VIP in Vegas and NY, been waited on hand and foot at millionaire resorts and billionaire estates, been flown across the world to make a living doing what it's hard to make a living doing back home, manipulated the devotion of more amazing women than any man like I was should have the privilege of knowing, found a discipline to turn back the clock on my external appearance and internal health and make a living as an academic when a few short years ago it looked like I should just give the college thing up because it wasn't working out.

And trust me, I friggin' enjoyed it. Some of you know better than others, how much I enjoyed it. I'm certainly not above STILL enjoying it. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. It all stays with me, and I won't leave it behind. I need more though, something else. So I went on a search.

And I swear, the smell, the light rain and the clouds amongst all of the organisms is worth all of the effort you put into life to get the things you aren't always sure you will. Just this. No bottles, money, sex, compliments, drugs, threads or beats. I guess that's the appeal of nature. And it's evidence that you will get the things you work for.

Brotha In Sri Lanka Day 3

We just saw 2 bulls roaming the sidewalk like they were people. Two things:

1.I'm mad as hell I didn't get a pic.

2. I would've been terrified if I was walking near it.

Oh, ok, we are definitely where cows roam the street. Ok. Got some pics. They are actually everywhere. Most of the time in groups.

We unexpectedly stopped at an herbal and spice garden and there was no predicting how AWESOME something so boring-sounding would be. Walking in just felt like healing was happening. We were surrounded by many plants and given an explanation of what they all do by a student.

As we were brought some tea and read a brochure about specific herbal remedies, we were given surprise massages with the herbs. And I mean, these were MASSAGES. Maybe 30 minutes, back, shoulders, arms, legs and feet. It was the best massage I've ever gotten. During mine, I had a mental conversation with a small lizard of some sort. That's private. 

Getting a BOMB massage at the herbal and spice garden.
This was free!
Just cost the price of a donation.

Student at the herbal and spice garden. He was the man.
Friendly, knowledgeable and efficient.

We bought some stuff for joints, skin and oral care. I'm very much looking forward to using them.

Left to right: Sandalwood for skin rejuvenation (Doha climate and diet is HARSH on my skin). Herbal tooth powder for my gum issues. An herbal rub for dermatitis (sweaty nuts rash) and the famous Red Oil from the leaf that contains glucosamine. That's for the joints.

We went to a turtle hatchery which was a place to protect and raise turtles. Kind people doing a tough, often thankless job. We bought some cool souvenirs here. There was an albino turtle with missing fins and one with a beautiful shell. These turtles can live to be 200 years old. 

Clockwise: turtle egg feels like a ping pong ball; albino turtle;
me holding a day old green turtle;
albino turtle missing front fins :( and a healthy adult turtle.

Afterwards was a cool safari I'll share through video.

There's more video but blogger isn't cooperating :(

We were able to see water monitors (GIANT lizards),

birds, I held a baby crocodile

and put my foot in water that had dozens of fish which bit the dead skin off.

It was very cool. I also drove the boat for a little bit.

We ate by the magnificent Indian Ocean but had a terrible time with bad, slow service. That took way too much of our time out. Afterwards was a moonstone mine which was quite boring but my wife did get a ring out of it :)

Btw, before we got here we joked that since the Sri Lankans stare and marvel at her in Doha, a whole country will now. It wasn't a joke, turns out. They tell ME how beautiful she is and that I'm lucky, and ask to feel her hair. Families stare at her while eating. It's the craziest thing. Being African-American is intriguing enough because they don't really see us here, but her hair is of the UTMOST interest. Something about the way she looks in general is completely exotic and magnetic to them.

Our guide in the safari was a young, dark local who definitely tried to use his "darkness" as a bond to hustle us out of money. "I'm black like you...the Europeans, they give a tip if they are happy - 10 dollars, 20. You understand? *smiling*"

"This will be 500 rupees" :)

At this time he was trying to get his man some dough to show us something about cinnamon. I said "I don't have more money. So it's free?" He says "No. I pay and you give it back to me." Uh-uh, lol. I gave him 6 bucks for his 90 min tour. I called that fair. He was being too weird, very very inquisitive about our blackness, Americanness and economics. He did things like feel the fabric of my shirt or ask if we smoke or drink. He thought we were a come-up. Asked for my number. I was like "I don't use this in this country." Because it's expensive. And because you're weird. He was cool enough though. The people are poor and he was trying to get at some rupees. 

We decided to skip the beach and some boring-sounding fort so that we could get the long ride home over with. Sri Lanka is so stimulating it tires me out just by being here. Haven't even explored our hotel, which we always do. Haven't even had a drink! But the touring is outta the way. Now begins relaxation.

Brotha In Sri Lanka Day 2

We are on our way to Kandi. I'm so grateful and humbled to be around so many colors. The buses are colorful. The clothes and buildings are colorful. The structures and lack of major roads and signs of modernity reveal this as an obviously poor place, but I've never felt disconnected from my origins. I'm here as a comparatively "wealthy" tourist but I feel much more comfortable in the slum. Well, I guess that's easy to say when crime isn't a threat (although theft is high anywhere people are poor). Our driver is giving us a ton of good info, from red bananas to the fact that they rarely see a black American here. We can tell, haha. They stare. Hard, long and often.

I caught a coughing fit so we pulled over and bought me water. 89 cents for a liter. 70 rupees. This was outside of the tourist area. I pulled out thousands and I looked like an idiot. But they were just more shocked to see me than anything. Probably one of the morse shocking things to happen to them. Random black American pulls off side of rural road, buys water and bounces. Few minutes later we tried this tasty, exotic (to us, apparently EVERYONE ELSE has eaten rambutan before) fruit. There are many skinny dogs on the street. Vegetables and fruits are plentiful and high quality here and it shows in the appearance of the people.

The elephant orphanage was WONDROUS. Full of rescued elephants. I could say a lot about the humbling experience of coming face to face with one of the most majestic creatures some entity had the imagination to create, but the video of me being apprehensive about getting REALLY close (of course I had to touch it and StarPower in front of it), should tell it all. This wasn't a zoo, btw. It's an orphanage, a park, and only the horny elephants are chained. The rest roam pretty freely. We were in THEIR home: 

From elephant dung to elephant dung paper!

We took a tour of a shop where expensive elephant dung paper is made. That's right, paper made from elephant crap. 

Just passed some trees that looked like they were full of hanging black fruit. But they were bats. I have loved to see them fly away in a frenzy.

From the "rolling room" to the way the herbs look in the paper,
this does not look like it's about making tea.

The tea factory was very cool. We went from the paper shop before this, to the rolling room here, then she showed us the leaves and it looks like she's showing us how to wrap them. Only thing you need after that is that fiyah, haha. 

We visited a famous Buddhist temple. I had to wear a sarong around my waist because I couldn't get it in shorts. There was a TON of people. I loved that it rained when we arrived and stopped when we walked out. The treasures and decorations were spectacular. I've been considering becoming a Buddhist so the info given by our guide, along with the temple experience, provided me with a good bit of foundation for my spiritual journey. Here's some video from the trip:

I just saw a G-Unit tuk-tuk. Crazy. 

The ride home was excruciatingly long and dangerous on the wild, narrow, slick roads. So glad to get home.

Brotha In Sri Lanka Day 1

Everywhere looks like this.

Day 1
No matter what kind of research I do beforehand, it's hard not to feel like I'm getting "got" by the currency exchange. I currently have 18,000 rupees. To give you an idea of what that is, I could get a monthly metro card (I guess I still could) but I couldn't get the newest Jordan's.

The first thing we were struck by leaving the airport was the smell - life. Doha has very little plants so it has no smell. It's one of it's major drawbacks. There are also no signs of Qatari culture in Doha, whereas Colombo's streets are filled with signs of the culture, from tuk-tuks (the hybrid car/bike vehicles used for transportation) to the colourful housing and business decor (color almost seems banned in Qatar). Make no mistake, I'm referring to what looks like very poor areas, but growing up in NYC hoods, they have a liveliness I can appreciate and miss. We've already seen 2 public displays of culture, some military ceremony and a parade/festival. The prayer call is the closest thing to public spectacle in Doha. Coming from NY, I'm used to frequent acts of expression. I miss it, but not enough to want to go back. This rain is everything right now. We're taking an hour ride from airport to hotel and it became dark and rainy on the way in. It's rained in Doha, but the trees and open air here release the tropical feel into the atmosphere I like to absorb when we vacation in Mexico and the Caribbean.
The driving is AT LEAST as crazy as in Doha, which is considerably worse than NY.

There are actually women walking in the street here. Most are driven around in Doha. You pretty much only see Filipinos, and the occasional ex-pat or African chick on Doha streets.

A 40 km ride to our hotel is an hour (it would be 20 min in NY) because the roads are narrow and crowded with different types of vehicles with vastly different horsepower. And it's raining. And now it's dark. It's 6pm local, 4pm Doha, 8am home.

The hotel is one of the liveliest hotels I've ever been in. Luxurious without the stiff pretense of Northeastern luxury hotels or the plantation luxury of the tropical resorts we've stayed at. It's large and has all the shops, restaurants, clubs and facilities you expect, along with intimate touches to the amenities that show that they care about the details. The service is impeccable, our view is nice and the food is the best I've had at a hotel - flavorful, spicy and robust. And oh yeah - cheeeaaap. I dollar = 127 rupees and the room service is cheap. Banging prawns Caesar salad for 600 rupees ($4.27). Mixed seafood of lobster, prawns, crab, tuna, sole veggies and potatoes for 1000 rupees ($8). It's almost unbelievable. There are two weddings going on and the people are dressed to the nines. While traveling the city from Colombo to Kandi, we see that the men are well groomed and the women are beautiful. They wear the traditional robes that show off more of their bodies than the typical American outfit does, and that's a contrast to Doha, where the women are as covered and closed as you can get. Thats actually a simplistic explanation of how Arabic women dress because there is great variety and the women, surprisingly to me, have great sex appeal in the Arabic world, but thats for another blog. The women here look at men, and flaunt their hair and figures in a natural way. Everyone seems to have clear, smooth skin. But you don't really see muscular fellows. There is more of a balance of the masculine and feminine here. I'm sure it's a patriarchal system here like everywhere else, but the women walk around and project the energy of power an strength that isn't common in the Arab or Western world. Low crime is a factor I'm sure, but I've observed this kind of spirit when watching tv programming about the poorer places in the world that are rich in culture, spirit and natural resources.

1 US buck = 127 rupees

Took a ton of footage from the elephant orphanage, the tea factory, and the buddhist temple - stay tuned!