The 10 Things I "Do All Day"

People always ask me all condescendingly "So what do you do all day?" First of all, my wife gets home at 3pm, so it's certainly not "all day." Secondly, no one asked me that when I was teaching, and trust me, they ain't know (or care about) what the hell I was doing. Thirdly, when you phrase it like that, you're revealing something about what YOU think I do all day. Do you think my GRAND SCHEME was to travel 7000 miles to live/work, and give my employers hell until they allowed me outta my contract so I could do nothing all day under sharia law?? I mean, sure, it worked out pretty damn well, but not even STAR-mutha-effin'-POWER could've PLANNED it that way. 

So here it goes, my top 10 answers to that question:

10. I wait in the lobby for people to get on the elevator and I get in with them. I watch what floor they press, then I jump out and try to beat them to their floor running up the stairs. That's how I stay in shape.

9. Obviously, I spend A LOTTA time tanning by the pool.

8. ANYTHING besides, you know, preparing and planning for this BABY that'll be coming outta my wife in about 6 months.

7. I walk around The Pearl making note of people with clear, smooth and vibrant skin. Their faces tend to make the best masks.

6. I eat Nutella and beat off at every :15 and :45. Spoon in one hand, myself in the other.

5. I promote the WWE app. And Tout. I Tout.

4. I send my wife picture messages of penis lineups and demand that she prove her love and fidelity by identifying which is mine. If she gets it wrong, I show up to the campus, barge in her office, and pull it out screaming "This is ALL I ask of you, and you can't do that for me???!!! Huh?! You can't just pick my penis out of a...I love you, I'm sorry, I love you, I just...I got too much time on my hands and I...*sigh*"

3. Lunches. Brunches. Interviews by the pool.

2. Constantly re-working and fine-tuning my "exit plan." Hope I never need it, but c'mon, it IS the Middle East, no?

1. I DON'T walk around sounding like a narrow-minded hater, wondering what on GOD'S GREEN EARTH could someone do with their day besides the same 9-5/7-3/10-6 that everyone else does.

Here's a hint: I do ALL THE OTHER SH-T, the MILLIONS OF THINGS, we never get a chance to do because we are usually stuck trying to figure out a way out of our jobs or hoping we last to retirement. There's more to do outside of work than there ever could be inside of it. 

What Do I Think Of Success?

Success man. Sometimes you can succeed, unequivocally, and it still isn't treated like success. You can see that mess with the heads of people who have a history of success and being praised. Like when the public has previously set a standard that a star has accepted, and then the star does something that could/should be viewed as successful, but is a little different from what s/he previously did, and is painted as something more akin to failure by the media (Kanye?). It seems to mess with them. They have to defend themselves: "I thought it was a great film; you guys didn't catch the undertones of mockery of socialism that we did in a cheeky way" or "The album may not have done 2 mil but I had unique live instrumentation and I sang for the first time; and it still did 600,000 which is pretty damn good by any measure." 

I feel that Jay-Z has been going through this for a while, and it's actually defining this stage of his career. On "Success" from "American Gangster," he lays it all out for you:

"I use to give a fuck, now I give a fuck less
What do I think of success? It sucks
Too much stress, I guess I blew up quick
'Cause friends I grew up with
See me as a premie, but I'm not and my nuts big..."

His friends don't see him as he sees himself. To them, he's still a premature kid, instead of a full grown man with a set of full grown man nuts.

"I don't know what the fuss is, my career is illustrious
My rep is impeccable, I'm not to be fucked with..."

He doesn't understand why they even doubt him. Look what he's done. It's obvious that he's a force. Isn't it?

"I'm way to important to be talking about extorting

Asking me for a portion is like asking for a coffin
Broad daylight I'll off your on switch
You're not to bright, goodnight, long kiss
"Bye bye" my reply, blah, blah

Blast burner then pass burner to Tye-Tye
Finish my breakfast, why?
I got an appetite for destruction and you're a small fry
Now where was I?

Well, it case it isn't, he reminds you why it should be. You shouldn't need reminding. And maybe he shouldn't care. But he does. He cares about how you perceive his success.




I've been there. I've found myself on some "Ok, well I didn't become a lawyer or an engineer or all those things they thought might happen when I was in gifted programs and all that as a youth. I did, however, get 2 college degrees, a very competitive fellowship, train teachers in prestigious programs, and move overseas, perform and distribute my own music and become pretty knowledgeable about many aspects of health and change my body inside and out, all at pretty young age. Who wouldn't take that?" It was my way of trying to convince the world to recognize that I'm still successful by most standards, just in a different way. It really just showed my insecurity and inability to define my own success.

You wanna know how success works sometimes?

Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade had an amazing season last season. 21/5/5, well over 52% shooting, 2 steals in 34 minutes wasn't the first option on offense. Go ahead and look, not many players have put together that season. Most would kill for it. But now, it's pretty much consensus that Harden is superior. And he's over 30 so he's over the hill. And of course he's overshadowed because plays with the King. But numbers-wise and the fact that his team won a title, how many players had a comparable season? Lebron, Kobe, Durant, Harden...? His season should be marveled at, and he was injured and had bad stretches. And he still put that season together. He could go up to nearly every athlete in major professional American team sports and say "By statistical comparison and accomplishment, I was a better player than you were last season." Not more than 10-15 guys in the NBA, NFL NHL and MLB can say that he was wrong. But his story last year was "Still very good, but declining second banana whose decline may mean premature end to dynasty." Granted, those were the overdramatic stories but they were out there in great numbers.

Now, I'm not saying any of this affects Dwyane adversely. On the contrary, I believe he knows his legacy and is very comfortable with it. I'm just using his situation because it's a good example of what could make a weaker person start to crumble. He's being judged against his past and future. They say we live in a world of "What have you done for me lately?" But that's not always true. He had a terrific season and won a title. That's what he's done lately. And that's why you have to set your own standards, nice and high, and don't let the judgment of others mean a lot to you. Because it won't always be accurate. You don't want someone else telling your story incorrectly and having the world react to you in a way that lowers your opinion of yourself. Sometimes people will spotlight everything that doesn't make you great and ignore all of the measurements that show your success. So you have to always make sure to define it for yourself. On the other hand, you can't assume that your view of how people perceive you is accurate. Sometimes you are your own undoing. You can find yourself feeling like "They don't recognise how great I am" when in actuality, they do, and it's YOU who has set an impossible standard (Kobe? Who has set a very high standard that was maybe never his own, but MJ's?). I've been there as well. So let me offer this caveat: Define your own success, be flexible and recognize that the definition can change and only YOU can work to YOUR fullest potential.

Something Had To Give With This Oatmeal

Sad Jack :(

Happy Jack :)

Turned on TV this a.m. like: "Corny romance movie; change channel." Minutes later I'm like: "I promised myself I wouldn't cry! *sniffle*"
Then I found myself sitting here MAD happy for Jack Nicholson. I didn't know she was gonna come back while he was sad on the bridge! I was touched.

Damn I'm getting old. And soft. In all the right places, I guess. 

I've had an irrational fear of oatmeal for too long. Something about the texture and the weird taste and the way it looks like melted rug sitting there in the bowl. But I know it can be a good weapon as far as me fighting belly fat, getting my fiber, calories and good carbs up. I'd tried it in different ways the last few months, and though some recipes turned out edible, none were GOOD. And I know I won't keep eating it if it's not good. I'm thankful for the "put some almonds/fruit/cinnamon" tips, but none made oatmeal tasty. What I didn't know is that there were other things I could be doing with the dry oats, that don't make them change to that soupy texture that grosses me out. Even though my wife has made delicious oatmeal cookies, I totally didn't consider the option of baking my oatmeal. Then I saw a recipe for "no bake oatmeal peanut butter cookies." I put that in my pocket and made a note to try that sometime. It was especially appealing because it's made in the microwave and not the oven, and half of the appeal of instant oats is...how instant they are. So a few days ago, I set about looking for a similar recipe because I couldn't find that one, and I came across this one from www.fitnessmagazine.com. I chose this one because it was the only one with the right combination of requiring ingredients I have, not taking too long to make and looking tasty and doable. I tried it and and lo and behold - they are delicious. I need to experiment with different amounts of ingredients (used way less sugar the second time I made them) but all in all, I'm very happy with the results. A good, quick fun breakfast meal. I used white sugar instead, coffee extract, and flaxseeds instead of chia seeds (no cocoa powder or coconut flakes). If you do this, I doubt you need the sugar at all, but see what works for ya. Mine looked a little different but taste great just the same. Of course, I was open after that, haha. So I tried this no bake oatmeal peanut butter cookie recipe (damn I'm lazy; ironic because I started this blog stating that I never considered "baking" my oatmeal - guess I still don't haha! No, but I promise I will try to "bake" recipes as well.) Yo. Dude. These are my favorite anythings in the world right now, I swear to you. They taste so good I want to hit someone out of pure joy. Like, if joy could be expressed through violence, I would have to do that after eating these. I changed a coupla things, like substituting chocolate whey protein for cocoa powder and using cinnamon sugar. My wife made the good suggestion that I should put them in the oven after to make them even firmer, more like a cookie, instead of the breakfast bar-like consistency both of these treats ended up having. I think that can be achieved with different microwave timing and ingredient ratios, however. Either way, these are great options for an on-the-go lifestyle. I know this isn't new, but it's new to me!

Left: Blueberry Banana Oat Cakes;
Right: Oatmeal Peanut Butter "cookies" 

 

No Bake Oatmeal Cookies    

10

PREP TIME

20

TOTAL TIME

6

INGREDIENTS

INGREDIENTS

• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa
• 2 tablespoons fat free milk
• 2 tablespoons Peter Pan® Crunchy Peanut Butter
• 1/4 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/2 cup quick-cooking rolled oats

NUTRITION INFORMATION*

Serving Size	6 servings (1 cookie each)
Calories	100

View complete nutrition information

DIRECTIONS

1. Stir together sugar, cocoa and milk in 4-cup glass measure or medium microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on HIGH 1 to 1-1/4 minutes or until boiling, stirring once.
2. Stir in peanut butter and vanilla until blended. Stir in oats until combined. Drop by spoonfuls onto a waxed paper-lined plate to make 6 cookies. Cool in freezer 10 minutes before serving.

Blueberry Banana Oat Cakes

Ingredients
1 ripe banana, mashed
1/2 cup dry oats
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 cup blueberries (frozen or fresh)
Dash of vanilla extract (optional)
1 tablespoon chia seeds (optional)
1 tablespoon coconut flakes (optional)
2 tablespoon cocoa powder (optional, for a chocolate banana cake)

Directions
1. Mash the banana.
2. Add everything else except the blueberries and stir.
3. Gently fold in the blueberries.
4. Spray a clean bowl with cooking spray and put the batter in it.
5. Microwave for 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 minutes.
6. Allow to cool for a couple of minutes before serving.

When I got married 5 years ago, I promised my wife I would cook more. It was an easy promise to keep if my intention was only to stick to the letter of the promise and not necessarily the spirit of it. I pretty much never cooked, so by the time I'd completed three meals, I was able to say I was a man of my word. But of course, I knew that I'd make a much better husband if I had the ability to cook the food as well as I ate it. For various reasons over the years, none important enough to justify being a non-cooking bum, I've been a non-cooking bum. Now with a healthy lifestyle and the fresh new palette that comes along with it, I know that it's imperative that I learn how to cook the dishes that will be better for the inside of our bodies. Plus it's nice to be able to have an aromatic dinner awaiting my wife after a hard day at work. It's not too hard to take an hour out of my day a few times a week to whip up something. I'm a lot more confident cooking by myself and learning from the mistakes that led to some disastrous cooking attempts in the past. Trial and error is a great teacher and I'm coming along at a nice, steady pace. Being meticulous about what I put into my body has given me a nice little skill for adjusting ingredients based on portion size and how certain nutrients interact that I didn't know I'd have. I'm no Chef Boy-Star-P, but I'm actually enjoying cooking, and I look forward to being adventurous in making some healthy and tasty food, and not always having to go to a restaurant or supermarket for the convenience of certain dishes. These are a couple of dishes I made this week; on the left is a shrimp/scallop recipe I found online, which I customized a little bit, using jerk seasoning, a little curry, and sautéed onions and bell peppers. I ate it with some quinoa and it came out good as hell. I learned some things about the different rates in which the veggies cook, and how sauteeing them brings out the flavor in a way that you don't even have to go crazy with the seasonings. This emboldened my to try a vegetarian dish - zucchini, onions, peppers with basil and garlic in tomato sauce with wheat penne pasta. I still had some shrimp left over though, so I decided to add those. Again, I customized the recipe a little to fit what I had in the house, and again, it came out great! I've caught the bug. No, I don't always expect to be this successful, but to know that I can put together the kind of meal my body responds to that I enjoy as much as a restaurant meal (not to mention, being fully aware of all of the ingredients) gives me a sense of pride, relief and accomplishment. Plus, it's mutually beneficial for me and my wife. Win-win.

This is me writing this blog in Java U Cafe by my old crib on Al Saad. Sometimes it gets so annoying being stared at all the time. Sometimes I just want to turn around and say, "Black dudes do regular shit sometimes too. Like buy a way-too-sweet rasberry smoothie and a water, to go with the tuna, crackers and trail mix we snuck in just so we can use fee-wifi."

They have these here. Sometimes I want to eat all of these. And then I don't. But I want to.

We finally have curtains, by the way.