Can't We All Just Get Along?

This is SOOOO annoying. They put Arabic info over the English on all the products so you can't see all of the nutrition info or directions in English. If I used the term "they be blowin' mines" or "that's the blow" as my sibling do (or probably stopped doing a year ago), I'd use it now. Put the sticker where both speakers can see it. Goodness gracious dude.

There's always corn and olives on the veggie pizza. Olives are in EVERYTHING and corn is so popular that there are places that specialise in the flavoured kind. I don't like olives and I am not into corn on my pizza. But I am about the other stuff. Get your veggies wherever you can. They add up.

To Do(n't) Lists

We are in the midst of a lovely 9 day holiday break called Eid al-Adha. It's for commemoration of the prophet Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his young and only firstborn son in obedience to a command from God. It also marks the end of the annual Hajj to Mecca. Celebrations include family and friend gatherings, meals (especially lunches and late breakfasts), wearing new clothes, and giving gifts. This is a significant and important time of the Muslim year. I've heard my NY students talk about it before I knew what it was and it's fascinating to see it within a Muslim country. It seems expensive and stores are in full force during this time. To a westerner it is very, very similar to Christmas.

I have taken the opportunity to reflect, relax and recharge. These are some things I plan to keep in mind during the break:

Guess I Should Screen ALL Of The Videos I Show My Class

My class did a little performance two mornings ago. I'm pretty sure we were expected to rap, and I'm pretty sure that's racist - kidding! Rapping would've been much too easy with the short notice I decided to put the thing together on. My class' talents are many, so we'll give 'em something different from the menu each time our assembly cycle comes around. And when we DO decide to rap, which will probably be when we are hosting in March - watch out! I definitely got some emcees in my class and I can't wait to get my DJ Khaled on in the multi-purpose room. As for this past performance, we demonstrated the different genres we read during the school day (e.g. one kid would shout "romance" and the kids behind would clutch their hearts; the next would shout "cooking books" and the others would pretend to stir an imaginary pot), and the different exercises we are doing in class (we showed off the "2 Minute Drill" I got from the Men's Health" website - 8 different exercises done for 15 seconds each. Great way to jump start yourself in the morning, btw). Went pretty smoothly, thank goodness; you know I got my Joe Jackson on during rehearsals. I'm still surprised by how these kids are able to conduct all of their studies in English (to varying degrees), but then again, early on IS the best time to acquire language. The kids are NOT allowed to speak Arabic in school, but of course, they laugh in Arabic about how futile it is to try to keep them from doing so. I usually let them rock unless I think they're trying to get smart with me in Arabic. Then I just ask a snitch kid what was said. That usually takes care of that. My kids are SO similar to how my kids were at home, but one glaring difference is that I don't really have a kid who doesn't seem eager to learn here. Their eyes light up when they know something and even the bad kids try pretty hard to come through with a good representation of what s/he knows. Back home, that was also true for a majority of kids, and I truly believe that every kid has a passion to learn SOMETHING, but I surely had kids who seemed jaded and uninterested by nine years old. That was always bothersome.

Part of growing up, no?

We don't have lunch, we have break. One at 9:55-10:15 and another at 11:50-12:10. These can get pretty nuts. We have this huge open grass area with nothing but 4 football nets (I'm getting in the habit of calling soccer by its "real" name). But the kids aren't allowed to use any type of balls or recreation equipment because last year a few kids got hit in the face. Isn't that just part of playing? People throw balls around and sometimes people get hit. Sometimes it may even be on purpose. Just kinda how things are in this world. The best sports involve running after, throwing, hitting and kicking balls. You gotta adapt. So anyway, we all have a day when we do indoor and outdoor break duty. The thing about this is, the kids are pretty much limited to two things when they don't have equipment, and I'm sure you know what they are: running and fighting. Many fight while running. And the adults are supposed to make sure they aren't getting into any squabbles. Which is very difficult. Apparently, tribes still clash here and it spills over into school. Kids love to wrestle in the yard but a few turn into real fights and older siblings end up being recruited, as well as family members once school is out. Next thing you know, the threat of a badly-refereed lumberjack match becomes imminent. I haven't seen, only heard about, things being taken this far, but I DO see roving gangs of kids stalking around during break, looking for excitement. Since that kinda action's been my specialty for as long as I've been an educator, I get right in the thick of things and disperse the little rumbles before they happen, if possible. And since some of the time I'm just trying to avoid the heat in a shaded area, out of the site of the principal (not an easy task in the neon vests we're required to wear during duty), it's not always possible. I did spend one indoor break teaching kids the Running Man, which was pretty damn cool.

There definitely are black Qataris, black like me Qataris. I don't know the history of the place as well as I'd like to, but as far as the social intricacies go, I don't know if its better to experience them (that could get sticky; I already see the difference in how I'm treated when they think I'm African, as opposed to when they find out I'm American - that's for another blog I don't know if I'm up to writing), or have them told to me by someone else. There's a girl in my class who easily would look like a black or dark Dominican girl back home, but she's Qatari, and I wonder if she, or my Sudanese students self-identify as black. My Sudanese (black) kid told me that I look Muslim. But a white Qatari kid said, "Ehhh, I don't think so." Different perspectives.

I previously thought that the teach abroad crowd was full of young, inexperienced, single white girls. We got those. But the majority are actually wordly, older people, many of them couples, of all nationalities.

My school is going through a lot of the growing pains of transformation. I predict much turnover and turmoil, and although I'm secure in my position, contributions and choices, it's disappointing to continue to see certain behaviours continuously repeated in different environments when particular structures are put into place. I know that sounds kinda vague. Let me put it this way - ineffective leadership managing naive and timid employees expected to execute "best practices" that aren't implemented correctly are problems that can/do occur ANYWHERE, and the result is always a clusterfuck of some sort. I'm sure that I'm supposed to be learning something new from this, this time around. This blog will help me find out what that is.

Met an Eritrean driver, nicknamed Fire, today. Said he loves Americans because they are fair, unlike Muslims who treat him (a Muslim also) badly because he's black. Showed us a lot of love for being black. He was tickled at hearing us speak, and said he loves listening to Americans speak. He kept on saying "WHAT'S UP!" He told us the story all of the nationalities tell us - he came here to try to make some bread. He ain't making much but it beats his option back home. Told us that home is a dictatorship, run by a good friend of Gaddafi. Asked us about Obama and you know that was the cheery part of the conversation, haha. Like a lot of the people I come across, he said he'd love to go to the US. I didn't realize how much the US is still looked at as the land of opportunity until I came here. It is, and my story is testament, without a doubt. But I'm from where the streets are also filled with people who came here only to be faced with the fact that they unknowingly chose the slightly lesser of two evils. Told my Indian barber today that I like Qatar better because its way safer. Too much shooting and fighting back home. He's the first person who seemed to instantly feel what I said. Maybe he can relate. He's the only person I met who comes from a country larger than mine. Maybe he can understand. Maybe those are things places like that have in common.

If you mind getting woken up by a 4:18am prayer call each morning, don't move to Doha.

The looks I gave this DISGUSTING dude in the spa locker room for hocking up loogie after loogie were SO dirty, he probably felt very comfortable receiving them.

The exact look I had, Bill.

Tomorrow is Sunday, meaning I teach with NO breaks. Pray for me. I'll put on "Bill Nye the Science Guy" (did I previously tell y'all the story about me showing "Bill Nye the Science Guy" and a little black girl was singing a science-type remix of a Janet Jackson song, and was dressed like Janet was in the original video, in a bra top kinda thing, and I didn't see it coming and it was on for like a minute before I did, and I had some kids turning their heads like they saw Satan, and I couldn't turn it off by then because it would've made it into a much bigger deal, and I couldn't believe it was on the school's hard drive and no one had screened it, and I'm not taking the blame if kids tell and parents complain? Yeah, if I didn't tell you about already - that happened) for a coupla lessons and see if I can't survive the day. Y'all be good, and of course, if you're feeling the blog, share it and tell a friend! Peace!

Pay Me In Falcons, Baby Falcons

Girly-ass handwriting

My wife is in my classroom modelling a writing lesson about breaking up big stories into small moments. Of course the kids are tickled about this, especially when she mentions me. I can see the thought bubbles form over their heads with the words, "He is human!" Of course the words inside of those thought bubbles are most likely in Arabic (and judging by some of the language that's been used in my class recently, probably a lot more profane. Twice this week I've gotten, "Misterrrr {roll the 'r'}, Misterrrr, Mohammed said to me 'fuck you!'" I damn near said, "The fuck you learn to say that shit?!" But you know, you always learn the curses first). She's really good with transitions and little techniques to keep the students silently engaged. I'm grateful for this right now because I am BURNED OUT right now. This class requires so much energy and they don't have the stamina for a full day of learning yet. Maybe I don't either, haha. I wanna sleep sooo bad. She thinks my kids are adorable. I guess they are, but then again, other people's kids are always adorable, no? Oh man, I just fell asleep - good thing she got them captivated on the rug!

"Pardon me, payroll? Yes, please pay me in these from now on. Thank you."

I had something called "late duty" today. It's basically one teacher and a cafeteria full of feral youth, foaming at the jaws, running around like chipmunks on high off vampire blood. It's "Lord of the Flies" in an 1100 square foot space with nothing but chairs, tables and blatant disregard for any structure whatsoever, and the supervising teacher isn't necessarily at the top of the food chain. It's so absurd that if I had to do this once a week, I'd demand to be paid in falcons.

Hit up the gym today and watched last night's debate by the pool. Yeah, it was basically what all of you were saying:

Mittens: *says things, mostly attacks, in desperate bid to pull off an election upset*
Barry O: This nigga lyin'. Candy, check his ass 'fore I do.

You know what I'm NOT gonna miss about this apartment after I move in less than 2 weeks? This unidentifiable stench that creeps into my bathroom every day. I don't mind a stench in my bathroom, as long as I'm responsible for it, but this smell is some foreign welcome funk that we've traced to absolutely nowhere. I might have the larger bathroom, but while hers smells like pleasant nothingness, mine randomly smells like a toilet that's been used, but unflushed for two weeks.

So, "Gangham Style" is everything over in the states also, huh? The video never fails to make me laugh. I'm hoping it knocks Maroon Contrived outta the number one billboard spot.

Sorry, that was uncalled for. I got no problem with Maroon 5. I mean, I do find much of their music to be hackish, but they're good for a soulful banger every once and a while. Still rather listen to them over Train ANYDAY.

Tomorrow is our Friday. We end the week with study cohorts after the kids get sent home early. This means we sit and plan and discuss Lucy Calkins from 1-3:15. I'm not saying this makes teachers wanna drink more than they already do, but lets just say that this makes teachers wanna drink more than they already do.

My kids were pretty eager to write raps and they weren't half bad! I'm doing a hip hop after school program and I don't know WHAT THE HELL that will entail. I'm thinking we get some beatmaking going on about 20 computers and I let the kids rock out, see where it takes them.

Had an awesome workout, took a good shower, ate some nice food and finished a load of laundry. Falling asleep now to "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy," one of my favourite movies ever. Can't be mad at much right now; as long as I'm living in the moment, everything's copacetic. Y'all be good.



Stay classy, Doha.

How Not Having A Dad Can Cause Tension Between You And The Arab Department

Growing up without a father, at some point it occurred to me that I may be negatively affected in ways I don't immediately understand. Therefore I started adopting role models and taking things from them that I thought made a good man. Things I studied and practiced for myself. I wanted to understand how to age, how to be a father (when I get there), how to advocate, when to advocate, what to say and how to say it, how long I should wait, who I should talk to, many many things. Guys like Ben, my co-teacher at Boys Leadership showed me how not to sweat, how to approach people in intimidating situations, and not to let my sweat show. Guys like Russ showed me how enjoyable being a father, biologically and in spirit, can be, and how there is power in tight relationships. I learned lots from guys I couldn't stand at the time, enemies in my head who didn't have a reason to tell me what was for my own good in a nice way, or who got what I thought I deserved but were willing to do what I wasn't.

Moments like the other morning are what make me reflect on this growth. Here, there is a "no teachers in the class during Arab/Islamic studies" rule. That's maybe 10 periods a week, a lot of time. And there isn't a computer lab in the building, only counters in the room. Not being allowed in your classroom means you can't get a lot of work done. So during a staff meeting I raised my hand out of nowhere and stated (I didn't ask, I stated), "I'm gonna have to be in my class during Arabic and Islamic. Not to cause any tension (bc I know there was some previously), but its just a professional thing. I can understand why they wouldn't want some teachers in the class (bc the kids then go to the classroom teacher instead of the Arabic teacher for things, apparently), but that won't be a problem for me. I'll try to stay out when it isn't necessary for me to be in there." It's not like I wanna see kids during my prep anyway. But I gotta get things done. And it seemed no one was going to mention this issue. Afterward, a bunch of other teachers chimed in with similar gripes. Why didn't they say anything before? Were they willing to continue to put up with this indefinitely. I kind of have this rep here a little bit for cutting to the chase and saying what everyone's thinking. (In NY that's MOST of the teachers I worked with; my former co-teacher advocates W/O hesitation. Definitely learned from her not to take the heavy load on yourself when others would be happy to let you do it - you make them do their part.) I have literally said in my head before deciding to reject the shit sandwich someone was trying to feed me, "What would Ben do? Ben wouldn't take this. He would only advocate bc it made sense." I've found myself saying, "Russ wouldn't give this guy/lady an inch, not if they didn't deserve it and it meant he was being shafted unnecessarily." There's something to be said for turning the other cheek, but my mentors showed me that a man knows that it doesn't have to be, "It's not enough that I win, everyone else must lose." That's how I used to think! Now I'm like, "Lets create a win-win. If not, well, I'm surely not losing SO THAT you can win. I'd love to see you win. Let's both win. If that doesn't work for you, I'm gonna be over here winning; join me when you get a minute." In another context it's why I came to Doha. I couldn't keep telling myself that it was ok for me to be dissatisfied at work and personally. I felt like the man I wanted to become would do something he never did to achieve something he didn't have. I knew I had the answer this time, only it wasn't the present me who knew. So at my most difficult moment last year I asked myself, "What would the man I'm going to become do?" I think he'd do what I'm doing. But I can't be so sure yet, haha. 

Stepping Into My Discomfort Zone

Good thing I didn't come here bc I thought the kids would be better behaved bc I have the exact Arab version of my class last year.

I got the little one who is unpunishable. I got the liar.
The one who thinks he's above the rules.
The one who always raises his hand to interrupt me and can't be still.
The one who is allergic to doing work.

Sometimes I don't at all feel like I'm in the Middle East bc so many things are the same. Even my apt feels very similar. A few less conveniences but more space. Things get done here at a slower pace but besides that and the style of dress some choose (and I stress SOME bc nowhere near every Arab woman dresses in the manner we think they do), my life is very similar to back home in lots of ways.

Too many ways.

We grow the most when we're out of our comfort zone and I'm wrapped snug in mine.
So it's time to live a little more, do some more things for the first time. I didn't expect to get answers here, just clarity. And I'm learning something about "letting things happen" instead of my old mantra of "making things happen." If I keep things simple I'll know what to do. I got a little caught up in recreating my experiences from NY here. I want to lose rigidity, no need to be hard (most of the time haha). I have to be like the water, powerful while still taking the form of whatever it encounters.

My international self is like a baby, learning how to "be" in a different environment. And though I talk a lot about the similar experiences, I think those are the common things that occur naturally when a city expands and westernizes. It's like how one big US city is similar to another. But there are big differences here. You can't ever really let yourself sleep on the fact that you're out here (just like I never got lulled into forgetting how dangerous NY was no matter what neighbourhood or socioeconomic class I was in). For instance. As if on cue...

...as I was typing, a Syrian colleague just pulled up video footage of her hometown bloodied and bombed out. She is in tears. This stuff, the stuff we see on CNN back homes, is so much more real over here. Just yesterday she was saying how her conversations have to be politics-free because the gov't listens in on the phone. I feel sad for her. Recently we were told that there is a level of alert here because Iran warned that it will attack all US bases, Qatar, Bahrain, Dubai, Afghanistan...she's pointing to a burned body in a car now...if Israel pre-emptively attacks Iran. We are across the street from the US embassy so although the security is higher, the threat of attack is also. No one is allowed on the roofs of buildings at the campus. Apparently many parents removed kids from school when we moved here. I literally live down the block from Al-Jazeera Networks. The news coverage is different and enlightening. But I don't watch to believe. Just for information. Being in the safest nation in the Middle East sometimes feels like choosing to eat the healthiest thing at McDonald's.