My Peeps

Tower 25

See that? That's a building under construction about 10 meters across from mine. (By the way, take any estimations I make using metric units with a grain of salt; I’m trying to be international when I use terms like “meters,” “kilometers,” Lionel Messi and “the lift,” but the fact is, I’m probably just being internationally incorrect.) I previously assumed this building was empty because every time I’d glance over there, there’d be no one inside. Then one day about a week and a half ago, I saw 2 or 3 guys standing in the window RIGHT ACROSS from mine, just staring. Why do I assume that they were staring in my window and not, say, a window on the 14^th or 17^th floor? Because we still don’t have curtains! Even when we do have curtains, we love to have as much light flood the apartment as possible so we rarely keep them closed. And with no curtains at all (we’re going to buy some this weekend), the workers in that building rarely keep their eyes closed.

I don’t blame them; I look in ANY and EVERY window I can whenever possible because I’m constantly trying to relive the glory of that Dominican woman’s nipples I saw looking out of my bedroom window at 12 years old. I won’t, like, climb on something to look in someone’s window, but if there’s a view, trust me, you’ll have at least one viewer. Even though I understand the mentality, I would think they would exercise a little couth, a little discretion. They just stand in the window, in duos and trios, and stare right in long and hard (I swear that wasn’t intentional; leaving it in after editing was, however) unless I meet their gazes with equal intensity.  They don’t seem to be working in the building all day (due to heat, I assume) or even every day, and when they are they don’t always look into our window, but it happens often enough for me to know that they don’t just happen to spend a lot of time clustered up in that one apartment across from mine, with their bodies positioned in a way that suggests they are waiting for a show to start.

"Pero papi, you didn't have to peep through the window. 

I would've showed you whatever you wanted to see, 

then made you pernil and flan," said no Dominican 

milf to me, ever.

What do they expect to see? Come on, they’re guys. They are praying to Vishnu that they see one or all of my wife’s killer b’s - boobs, butt or bush. And come on, part 2, this is Doha. They’ll settle for a bare shoulder, a few centimeters of unexposed hip or a nice knee shot. I get it. They’re creeps, not necessarily a bad thing in my book. The problem, and I mean for them, not us, is that my wife is not the type to walk around exposed, but I am. Sometimes she goes to bed in more clothes than I wear to the supermarket. She almost always has on a full outfit (albeit a light summer get up), usually a shirt, underwear, not-so-short shorts, a black girl hair-preserving wrap of some sort, a sheet over her as she is always chilly even though she’s the one usually responsible for putting the aircon on “tundra,” and she rarely goes to the window or keeps the door open to rooms that allow intimate views. This isn’t by design, it’s just her nature. I, on the other hand, jump right out of the bed in my designer birthday suit each morning and usually I go straight to the window to look at water. I poop with the door open (when she isn’t home, of course; come on, I do have some behavior). I walk back and forth naked to loosen up and when I do put on clothes, it’s usually one garment, and not necessarily bottoms (could be just a robe, a surgical mask or my WWE championship belt). That’s how I’m comfortable in my house.

Tsk, tsk...naughty pussy.

I have to say, I’ve noticed a dip in frequency of peepers over there. I guess brown eggs and frankfurters don’t appeal to them. *Shrug* I’m just waiting for them to finish construction so I don’t have to see a bunch of hard hats over there much longer. Anyone know a Dominican family who prefers open shades to closed curtains looking to move to the Middle East? I know of an available apartment or two…