Damn, all chairs in the all-male waiting room at Hamad Hospital are filling up. I've been in here too long. This is public space musical chairs. When I walk in, everyone is giving each other about as much space as possible. A buncha seats and about 3 people in the joint. Time goes on, and every seat that isn't next to someone else gets taken. Meaning the waiting area begins to look like, person, empty seat, person, empty seat, family empty seat, person, empty seat, couple, empty seat, person, empty seat, BAG (I'm leery), empty seat, me. So the next person in has no choice but to sit in between two occupied seats. He has to choose who he's going to sit next to. Usually, among men the thought process is something like, "Who is the most hygienic/less loquacious-looking/least potentially psychotic?" Or most of the time people feel most comfortable within the vicinity of those who are familiar looking. And I'm gonna put myself under the assumption that since I'm a black dude w/jewelry, shades, more than a coupla tattoos and a NY face (I'm working on that), I may be the last person anyone will choose to sit next to if they don't have to. My look, demeanor, maybe even my smell is nowhere near common here, so I'm probably a bit of a wildcard. Unless you're up for a little up close diversity in your waiting room experience, you're probably gonna sit next to someone wearing a thobe, an Indian driver or your more common Egyptian/Lebanese/Turkish-looking guy. I totally get this, it's perfectly cool with me (preferable, even, since I get to preserve my manspace for the longest because of this). But the seat next to me is now basically the last seat left (although, there is no one on either side of the bag, and no one has come to monitor the bag in 20 minutes, so I believe that that's potentially a free seat), so I'm resigned and at peace with the fact that any second now, the next person in will have sit right next to...oh shit! What?! Pre-emptive sit! Why the frrruck did an Indian dude who already had a seat leave his seat to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME! He didn't have to! He was already in here sitting down!
Who DOES that?!?!
I'll tell you right now, and I'm sorry to sound racist to my Indian friends, but THEY do that. Indians here in Doha. It's something I've noticed in Doha and it drives me bats. They will crowd your manspace, which every guy should know is a big no-no. You should know that in the subway, restaurant, restroom, those kinda places that don't have assigned spacing, you should always try your hardest to leave a sufficient amount of space between you and the next dude. What's sufficient?
You should just know by virtue of having the XY chromosome.
I've NEVER seen a group of people who respect personal space as little as they do (lost text of the Baghavad Gita?)....now ok, I know it's not all Indians. There are many of them. And it's way more likely that it's me, meaning I find it to be a problem and they don't. New Yorkers HATE for people to be next to them. Or look at them. Or talk to them. And India has like 1.5 trillion people and animals so they are probably ALWAYS next to someone. But I sweaaar, in Doha, they will LITERALLY (and I mean literally "literally," not the way people use literally now and they really mean "figuratively," I mean it like "that's exactly what the dude was doing") breathe down your neck while you wait on line in Western Union. They will cluster at the counter WHILE you do your transaction, like you're doing it together, as partners! I don't understand this and it gets me annoyed. Let's not forget how they OGLE western women in a way that would make American construction workers blush. Whether one or 50, they will pause what their doing, and stop to stare at my wife's breasts each and every time we walk by them. When we get past, if I turn around to look, just for gits and shiggles, they'll surely be staring at her ass. They don't even hide it, not all. It even disgusts ME, if you can believe that. But I do understand. Doha is majority male, Qatari women wear abayas, and Filipinas are quite common (not common-looking, just numerous). So it must be somewhat of a treat to see a woman in what we think of as having on a normal outfit, who doesn't look to be one of the aforementioned nationalities. You would think my wife walked around naked. She doesn't, if you were wondering. Not even close. But they look at her the way I looked at every Dominican female between the ages of 14 and 45 when I was between the ages of 11 and 18. I'm used to it but it's not cool man. Not cool.
Sorry, this has turned into an anti-Indian post and I didn't mean....oh what the?! Now this guy, who was kinda lunged forward (I was hopeful that he at least knew of that rule - if you have to sit next to another guy, position yourself forward if he's leaning back, sit back if he's leaning forward) has now decided to lean back after I already leaned back to create some space! What's goin on with this dude?! Why did he leave in the first place?! Maybe he left the other seat because the guy he was next to smelled bad. I don't know. I'm trying to understand why I possibly would have, or all of the reasons he might have instead of focusing on the fact that I just wanna turn to him and say "Sit in the other COCKSUCKING seat, bro." This is a meditation moment. This blog is the meditation. 'Cause this passive-aggressive stare I keep giving him isn't doing anything for me. Also, most likely he's Bengali or Pakistani, which makes my fake liberal-ass something like triple racist. But I'm black, and racism can only be perpetrated by the group that has the political power, and Dr. Kelly said that since blacks are minorities we can't be racist, "just" prejudiced.. But wait. Here, being American often takes precedence over being black. Not always, but often. And judging by my ability to skip ahead of all of the Indians at the medical 10 months ago (remember that? I was black until I was American), maybe I do have the "opportunity" to be racist...nah. Can't happen. Even the thought feels yucky. But remember my blog "We're Horrible People When...?" Remember how I said that as soon as a stranger does something that really annoys us, we instantly become the most flagrant racist/homophobe/sexist/ageist/weightist you've ever known? Yea, that's in effect right now. I'm not prejudiced, I'm annoyed.
P.S. I got up a few minutes after he sat down next to me, and wrote the rest of this blog after I left the waiting area. I just returned back to the waiting area and he's sitting IN the seat I was previously sitting in. Meaning, he got up from the seat he annoyingly sat in right next to me, just to sit in the one I was actually in. He must think it's a magical seat. Or that I'm a magical negro. He's magically testing my patience and I wanna magically donkey-kick him. Ok, he just left, hopefully for good. Back to my normal self - equal rights for blacks, gays, women and trees; eat plants, legalise hemp, something about the Keystone Pipeline that actually isn't a penis joke and all that type of shit :)
P.P.S. A non-Indian dude just walked in and saw that the seat next to me was the last empty. Know what he did? He went and stood by the WINDOW. Once that got tiring, he REMOVED THE BAG that was occupying another seat, rather than crowd my man space. But that was still kinda close, so when all the seats opened up, meaning it was just he and I in the whole waiting area, he went on, like, the opposite side of the room. Kudos to you, guy who looks like Vladimir Koslov. You know the unwritten rules.
This is the offending guy, btw:
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