It still shocks me that there is such a clear class system here. The security, maintenance, drivers, maids and nannies, they get no time off. And they have to be so measured in their interactions when they perceive someone to be of a different social status. It's really difficult for me to ask them for anything because as a black American who came up with very little, I know what it's like to be of the underclass and I still feel like I am, even though that's not quite the case here. I asked the security guard to let me know when his next day off is so we can get drunk again and he said "I don't really have those." It kinda just happens. That's rough on a different level. Yet he maintains this great positive outlook that he developed to deal with this circumstances as he plans for a better life down the road. That's important. You can't just let the time pass by until something better happens. If you have to be in the moment anyway, you might as well at least try to make the best of it. He lives by that. Kudos to him.
It's getting up to 102, 104 degrees steady now. It's not a heat you can prepare for. Instant sweating. A sun that feels like it's angry at you. The staying indoors, the constant AC and little sunlight, the lack of trees, I know I say it a lot but I can't stress enough how harsh it is on the skin, even the heavily melanated skin. I have to maintain super eating and exercise habits to combat this.
People here have money so they leave for the summer. The roads are starting to empty and the kids are dropping out already. There are a couple who plan to be in America. Shoot, they may be there longer than I will! I used my literacy powers to sift through this ex-pat tax code. We got some good tax people on the case, but I like to know for myself. Between this and the copyright laws I researched to protect the music I have in my friend's film, I've done some good due diligence but I must admit that the tedium of these processes make it hard for me to be thorough when I don't have access to certain thing and people over here. I basically have to stay outta the country for about 11 months my first year out or I get TAXED. This is how it goes:
Physical Presence Test
The physical presence test requires that a U.S. citizen or resident be physically present in one or more foreign countries for at least 330 days during any 12-month period. The 330 days do not need to be continuous. Further, the individual’s tax home (principal place of business or employment) must be in a foreign country during the 330 day period.
The 330 day rule is very exact. An individual must keep track of all U.S. and foreign days to properly claim the exclusions based on the physical presence test. Any partial days in the U.S. are treated as full U.S. days for purposes of this test.
There's more but you're bored enough.
Facebook helps me feel connected but not in a real way. It makes me feel connected to home like reality tv makes me feel connected to whatever the show's subject is. I know there are some truthful elements but I don't buy most of it; I'm more entertained than anything. It gives me an insight that I find valuable, and even though I can be hooked, it's not necessary. In some way, Instagram has been a more authentic way for me to stay in touch. Maybe because the message isn't manipulated as much.
The picture lies juuust a little less than the words do on the whole. But I know others would strongly disagree.
"No one tells us about the educated and competent black man's struggle, the one who doesn't choose the high class professional route even though he can. We exist in a very peculiar space that we carve out for ourselves as we go. It's different from doing a typical blue collar job or goin for lawyer/doctor/accountant. And then it's not rapper/singer/athlete either. There's a whole world out there for the white version of what you and I do. And we get into it sometimes, e.g. that TFA job we had. But for the most part, our skill set is hard for anyone else to know how to utilise bc whites would rather hire the white version, blacks don't own enough or haven't had enough power long enough to know what to do with it, and so we have to just create our own space. When we do that, we're gonna be in constant struggle, but at the end of the day it's a good fight when you can hold your head up and know that you did it all as a man." - the kind of convos I have with my brothers
They help me when I all of a sudden wake up like, "Oh shit, I've lived in the Middle East for 10 months" haha.
I'm a peace. I guess I've just been scared to admit it. I'm at peace more than not. Which is all I can ask for. I think that I feel like admitting it will jinx it when in actually it'll probably do the opposite. I want through HELL over here to attain this peace and it took damn near a year just to get to the point of being able to know how to maintain it daily. You don't arrive there and then set up shop, thinking you've made it. You have to create it all around you. I'm a peculiar, contradictory and awkward person. If I don't create my space everywhere I go, I have an extremely hard time acting like I'm ok being in a foreign space. Some people are marvellous at that, I'm not. Wherever I go, I have to ascertain whether it's a "me-friendly" zone, how much I have to change to make it so (if that's worth it) or what I have to do to carve out a space of my own. I don't need a sphere of influence, just a little bubble sometimes (a transparent one with an open door that has no lock; don't be afraid to knock) or once and a while, a force field.
Is the saying "once AND a while" or "once IN a while?"
Anyway, y'all be good. Got some video blogs I've been slacking on uploading. Stay tuned. Peace!
